“First of all, a warning. This book is packed with such useful and POWERFUL information, it should be approached with caution. Amazon has not provided a synopsis, and rightly so. I attempted to download a summary to my computer and my monitor EXPLODED. Normally, I would complain to the author and demand a refund, but the mere opportunity to witness this miracle of written word is payment for my loss ten times over. ”

“This book changed my life. Period. Colon: I have long had strawberries on my nipples. I also have had blueberries in my eye sockets and celery in my urethra. The celery remains, but I await the next book with eager expectations.”

“Not as good as the sequel “What are those bananas doing in my vagina I need them for my fruit salad” or the prequel “Popped Cherry Pie – where have all the fresh cherries gone”. But this serves its purpose of telling you where the strawberries go when they are missing from your fruit salad. With the color and shape of strawberries it is easy to see that you can misplace them on your nipples. Vanessa Feltz is truly the girl next door. She is just a woman trying to have a dinner party with strawberries on her nipples. Once she actually gets them off of her nipples she makes a great fruit salad and all the guest love her nipple salad “oops a nip slip”, I mean fruit salad.”

“There are two kinds of people in the world: those who divide the world into two kinds of people, and those who don’t” – Robert Benchley (American Humorist). This book, while laced with divine comedic interludes, divides the world into two difinitive subsections of society. This divide tears at my frail emotions when realizing that I myself am in a group of people who have been repressed and belittled; those of us with megaareolasis, also known as BNS, or Big Nipple Syndrome. I am disquieted to finally come to the stark realization that there is a class system in this country. Those with nipples that can at least be fully covered by a mulberry or rainier cherry are considered acceptable, those enveloped by a blueberry are hailed, and those the size of a mere red currant are revered as Gods. And to the title of this book, there are those that nessecitate the coverage of a fully developed conventionally grown strawberry from Costco, who are shunned as lepers. They are routinely humiliated and asked to hold objects, such as coins, leaves, and wide mouth bottle caps up to their bare bossoms to display the montrosity of their genetic freakdom. What little comfort if any I draw from this piece of literature is knowing that there are others like me out there who share the pain of suffering from the cruelty of our large nipple defaming culture. It has inspired me to write a new book – “What is this pomegranate doing on my nipple, I need it for my Hors D’Ouevres” that will urge congress to add nipple size as a new protected class under Title VII of the civil rights act.”